Monday, June 23, 2008

Last Night in Colombia

My friends, the time has come to say goodbye to my time here in Colombia. Tomorrow at 4:30 AM we leave for the airprort. I hardly believe it's over, it's like there are so many things left to do and yet we leave tomorrow. The goodbye parties have helped get me ready, but they just make me sad. I hate saying goodbye! And the truth of the matter is that no matter what I think, I have no idea if I will ever be able to come back and visit. How do I finish up here and go back to a life I used to know? That life hardly seems real now, like a dream, and I know when I go back it will be very different from when I left it. And yet this life in Colombia that I know now will soon seem like a dream as well. How does one cope? My only answer is to stick to God all I can.

A Previous Blog that Just Never Made it Up

Scene: 8:00 AM, La Mesa, Colombia. Brent, Cora, and Paul have recently risen from their very hard Colombian beds and are ready for breakfast.

Brent: Boy I sure need some coffee this morning! (Nice and chipper)
Cora: Me too… (Relatively chipper)
Paul: mmmmm (His only version of speech in the morning. He is still halfway asleep.)
Brent: How do you say black coffee again in Spanish? Tonto?
Rachel: No dad, TONTO means dumb…you should ask for TINTO! (Rachel rolls her eyes and laughs at yet another attempt by her father to pick up some key Spanish words. The irony of the mistake is quite humorous.)

My family and I had a great visit last week, sharing stories and updates, laughs and serious discussions. They learned some Spanish words that they probably forgot as soon as they stepped on the plane, but I'm sure that many of the lessons and realizations will stick for a very long time. We spent time looking at the huge city of Bogotá from atop a mountain in the Catholic sanctuary of Monserrate. We visited a Mennonite church in the town of Anolaima where I was playing in the worship band. Also on the tour were various sites in La Mesa, including lookouts over the mountains, the school where I work, the Mennonite church, and a stop at a friend's house to get a pedicure. There were travels to a farm to relax and to swim, a trip to the town of Cachipay (where the Colombian Mennonite church started), and a walk through the poor dilapidated neighborhoods of Anapoima. It definitely wasn't the type of vacation they're used to (we had multiple incidents with loud chickens), but I would hope that my presence made it all worth it!

In light of this visit I am starting to run into a mix of old and new feelings. Being away for so long made the homesickness practically go away by about the halfway point, but seeing my parents brought back some old memories. In that sense it made me more ready to go home. And yet I got a touch of what reentry will be like for me: very "American" comments, actions that seem to go against the way of life I have assimilated myself into. Not that it's anything against my family (I love you guys!) but I have lived in another culture for the last 7 months, and now face the reverse culture shock of my own country and a readjustment to being surrounded by my own countrymen. Very common American attitudes and ways of life now seem strange after trying so hard to delve deep into my host country's mannerisms and customs.

So now I face 19 more days (I'll be home on the 28th, by the way) of mental preparation. To be quite honest I am perfectly terrified of reentering into my own country and have days when I don't want to do it at all. I would ask for your prayers as I anticipate this change and the transition into college in the fall. There are also the more immediate hardships of goodbyes here in Colombia and the final goodbye to the team in Chicago. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Burgeoning Dreams

It’s funny how certain events in our lives can lead to seemingly unconnected revelations. God uses things in often very unexpected ways to teach us, uplift us, give us hope, speak to us. I feel like God used our vacation to the coast last week to help me dig up some buried emotions and identify hidden dreams within myself.
Our vacation, while full of wonderful sights and things to do, was also a well-needed rest. We flew into the city of Barranquilla and spent the weekend visiting the Mennonite church there. Then we traveled to the coastal town of Santa Marta to spend the week on the beach. It was wonderful to be together as just the five of us as a team again! Of our four full days there, three of them were spent in the ocean swimming, sun bathing, and riding the waves. One day we explored Santa Marta’s gold museum and drank coffee in a Juan Valdez cafĂ© before heading off to a beach near the small fishing town of Taganga.
Throughout all of these activities God gave me a wonderfully bittersweet revelation. Sweet because I realized that the other four girls on my team have become very dear to me, like family, but bitter because in almost exactly two months we will not only depart from Colombia, but part as a team. It has been awesome getting to know Amy, Karin, Melina, and Stephanie on a deeper level, sharing secrets, daily struggles, joys, and God moments. I can hardly imagine life without them after being so close to them for the last eight months! I suppose I saw how close we were becoming before but it only just hit me how much I’m going to miss them.
I also identified something about myself, a burgeoning dream that perhaps has always been there but that I am coming to realize more and more. Before joining RAD I had this mindset that someday I would be perfectly content with a white-picket-fence life: the cute house, steady job, a husband, family. Everything would fit into a compact little bubble. And yet now I see an expanded bubble, one bigger than the confines of what some would call the American Dream. There are places to go, great people to meet, old friends in faraway states and countries to visit. What would it be like to study abroad? To give a year or two or three after college to serve God’s people? To have a job that allows for travel? What would it be like to get to know so many people that every day my email inbox is filled with messages from a dozen different countries?
So where will I end up? As one of my newest Spanish phrases puts it: ¿Quien sabe? (Who knows?) Well, God knows, for it says in Psalm 139: 1-2 that he has searched us and knows us, knows when we sit and when we rise. He knows all about us, and as it says in vs. 9 and 10, “If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your [God’s] hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”
Bendiciones (blessings) and may God also help you to realize your small, insignificant, and hidden dreams.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

A Convention to Remember

Coming from a relatively typical teenage background, I never thought I would say that getting up early could be beneficial. Saturday mornings are for sleeping in, right? However, in the last month I have encountered not only the cons but also the pros of the verb that is madrugar in Spanish. This verb (which literally means “to get up early”) is a particular favorite here in Colombia, especially among Christians. For many it is a spiritual discipline to get up early (madrugar) and pray for a time before the day begins.

What this meant for me in the month of March was that I spent every Saturday morning starting at 6 AM at a local church rehearsing with the worship band for a convention that was held the last weekend in March. While it was not the Mennonite church we are attending, they asked Amy and I to play in order to have an integrated worship
band. I cannot express enough how much that early morning wake up humbled my attitude and taught me something about making a sacrifice for God. After weeks of practicing, the convention started on the 27th and brought pastors/speakers from all over the area. Saturday the 29th we met at the even earlier hour of 5 AM to pray as a team and spend time in reverence to God. That was an amazing morning, but what followed was an even more incredible two days.

The main speaker at the convention was a North American missionary woman in her late 60s named Susan. She has all the characteristics of your average grandmother: short graying hair, glasses, matching old lady outfits, a soft voice. When she gets up to the podium she retains her soft voice and lamb-like personality but oh man, her
words come with fire and it’s impossible not to be affected by them! She travels all over the world to speak and has brought thousands of people to Christ. I have a huge amount of respect for this woman and was really excited when I heard she was coming to speak.

The first thing she did when she got up front on Sunday morning was to announce that she had two prophecies that God had given her. One of them was for my very own teammate Amy! Amy went up front and Susan said she had seen an image of Jesus standing with Amy, and Amy was holding lots of nations in her hands. Jesus had his arms around her and they were going to each of these nations together. She said Amy would have lots of different paths/callings in her life but they would all bring her to preach the gospel in different parts of the world. And God would whisper in her ear the things she should say and she would speak them. That sounds like Amy to a tee, and the thing is that Susan knew none of Amy’s dreams to go to other countries. Truly an act of God!

Susan spoke that morning about what is called canto profetico, or prophetic singing. She said that God had been calling her to have this experience with us where we ask the spirit to move through us to sing, play, and speak in tongues, all spiritually inspired. I was a little nervous coming from my quite traditional church background, but Susan calmly explained that the piano was going to play the same note over and over again and Amy and I would be free to improvise on whatever notes/melody we pleased. As I was praying before we started I had my hand up, and since I wasn’t going to be able to speak in tongues while I played, I prayed that He would allow my fingers to “speak” in tongues instead. Suddenly my hand started shaking uncontrollably and wouldn’t stop, and when I went to play the movement translated directly into the movement I use to do vibrato on my violin. I just let myself go as I played, eyes closed, harmonizing with the piano. This melody came to me, a little ditty that I put the words “I love you I love you” to in my head. I was able to alternate with Spanish, since Te amo has the same amount of syllables. It was a totally relaxing experience, full of peace.

After we finished Susan came around giving us hugs. She started to speak to me, saying that she saw Jesus standing in front of me with a vessel of oil in his hands. That oil was symbolic of my violin music flowing through me and being used to heal many broken hearts. After a pause she said, “And that’s not all. I see you preaching the gospel with power.” At that point I lost it because the whole convention I had been feeling a little bit useless because when have I ever won a single soul for Christ? Her words were what I needed, an encouragement: you WILL preach the gospel. Later Susan was coming around for a second round of hugs, and she had more to tell me! She said that I will be like a double-edged sword that can break chains and heal. Wow again!

Here is an excerpt from my journal that I made the next day: “I need to sort it all out in my head but I want so much to LIVE this out, to make some changes and move forward in the faith. Changes like not being afraid to bring up God in conversation, being in true worship at church, doing a little more faithful feeling with my heart and less logistics with my head. Those kinds of things. Oh, and prayer. Lots of prayer.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

February 2008

February 2008: Twenty-nine days (so long, I know…yay leap year!) filled with some very familiar feeling activities and some very foreign activities. There was that well-known feeling of tiredness when you wake up, the sound of a group of string players, the face of our director Darrell, the taste of grilled meat. On the other hand I experienced deep conversations completely in Spanish, the huge thing it is to celebrate the principal’s birthday, the sight of flatlands rather than the mountains I live in. There are so many things I would love to elaborate on, but I’m afraid I would loose my audience if I filled that many pages with words! Instead I would like to elaborate on few of them…

This month we started in earnest our work at the Colegio Americano Menno, the school where we spend most of our time. Amy and I are in charge of a new endeavor, a music group composed of students. We have eight string players and three wind players, and we are practicing twice a week. I have enjoyed this immensely because it gives me a chance to connect with the students in an area that I love. Our final concert will be at the end of May for the Mother’s Day celebration, which conveniently falls during the time my parents will be in La Mesa!

We also have had several visits from the United States recently. One was from our director, Darrell, and the other from Melina’s family (the Hunsbergers) from Pennsylvania. Darrell’s visit was simply to check in and see how we are all doing. It was great to see him again and to have conversations like we did in Chicago. The time spent with the Hunsbergers was also good. Melina’s mother is Argentinean, and they prepared an asado, (grill) for all of us. It was the first time I’ve had grilled meat since I was home.

A very incredible thing has happened gradually in the last three weeks. Spanish has started to click in my brain! Right around Valentine’s Day I realized that I was actually understanding the entire message of what people were saying. Before it was only words and phrases, and I would usually guess on the whole meaning, but recently it has started making more sense. This has led to some amazing discussions that didn’t happen earlier because of the language barrier. I praise God for this development!

Overall it has been a really amazing month and I wish to thank everyone yet again for your prayers. You may have heard about the tense situation we had in Colombia a few weeks ago involving Ecuador and Venezuela, and I would appreciate your prayers for a peaceful resolution with these countries and the guerrillas that continue to terrorize the Colombian people.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Peace Marches and Libraries



Things are finally starting to get rolling. Three weeks ago we started working on our first real project in the American Mennonite school here, and we're really excited! We are organizing the library for the school, which has been in a serious state of disuse for many years. For about a week and a half we organized books into categories and threw out the old, moldy books. It was quite a chore! Among the shelves we found communist propaganda, old mouse droppings, and cockroaches. Yuck! Now we are all five of us entering the book information into Excel documents so the school has an inventory of all their books. This next week we will continue with the inventory but will also start helping out in the English classes, which I am greatly looking forward to.

In the news: tomorrow is a big day here in Colombia. It has been declared a day to oppose the FARC, which in English stands for Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia. The FARC has been around since the late 1960s, when liberal guerrillas who opposed the conservative government didn't want to disarm after a treaty. Today they earn money from the drug trade and are associated with the deaths, kidnappings, and displacement of thousands of people each year. Over 100 cities world wide are planning to participate in peace demonstrations, parades, and marches tomorrow against this violence, including our city of La Mesa. We plan to march with the kids from the school in a city-wide parade. Please pray for this important event as the citizens of Colombia protest the violence happening in their country. If you would like to read more, try a google search, or the event has a website (viewable in English!) at http://www.colombiasoyyo.org/english.html. Thank you for your prayers!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Christmas Update

Christmas has come and gone here in Colombia and I can’t relieve we’re well into January already. How quickly time flies! I would like to attempt to summarize the goings on known as the holiday season for all who are curious…

When Advent was starting back in the United States, the holiday season was just beginning here with street vendors selling all sorts of odds and ends. Aside from these vendors and the decorations for sale in the stores, one wouldn’t be able to tell that it was December. No snow, no Christmas carols, and no Advent here! The Catholic church in town has a sort of advent and in an attempt to distinguish from this, the Protestant churches stay as far away from Advent as possible. It is also uncommon to sing Christmas songs in church, and I found it rather hard for me to anticipate Christ’s birth without regular repetitions of “O Come O Come Emmanuel” in wonderful four part harmony ringing in my ears. In an attempt to combat this lack, we gathered with Aaron and Laura (the missionary couple who leads us) and, huddling around two hymnals, made a stab at imitating a full sanctuary of Mennonites. The songs did wonders for our Christmas spirit.

The Christmas spirit did finally arrive in La Mesa, but only by the time Christmas itself rolled around. My host family and I spent the evening with Amy and her family talking and eating. As Colombians traditionally serve everyone a plate of food rather than eating family-style, I was surprised to find a buffet set up. What a treat it was to serve myself! Everyone had brought their presents over, and we stayed up until midnight to open them. The Santa Clause image exists here, but since they don’t wake up on Christmas morning and open presents, his holding with the kids isn’t the same. Around midnight there was a barrage of fireworks all over town that reminded me of the 4th of July.

The fireworks continued off and on all week and culminated on the 31st. I was told that here the New Year is almost a bigger deal than Christmas, and I definitely witnessed that. While there were no church services on Christmas Eve or on Christmas day, the church celebrated on the 31st with a potluck (more or less…the concept is a little foreign here) and a time to make New Year’s resolutions. Afterwards we went to a family friend’s house to ring in the New Year. Traditionally there is a meal served at midnight, so that on top of my potluck food was quite a load!

Throughout the holiday season I suffered a little bit of homesickness, but not nearly at the level I expected. It came in waves. One day a Spanish version of a familiar holiday movie would do it, and the next day it would be a candle that brought back memories of the youth group’s luminaries on Christmas Eve. It was good, though, to experience a different side of the holidays. An important tradition for me may not be an important tradition for another, but we all can feel the love and beauty in Christ’s birth nonetheless.