It’s funny how certain events in our lives can lead to seemingly unconnected revelations. God uses things in often very unexpected ways to teach us, uplift us, give us hope, speak to us. I feel like God used our vacation to the coast last week to help me dig up some buried emotions and identify hidden dreams within myself.
Our vacation, while full of wonderful sights and things to do, was also a well-needed rest. We flew into the city of Barranquilla and spent the weekend visiting the Mennonite church there. Then we traveled to the coastal town of Santa Marta to spend the week on the beach. It was wonderful to be together as just the five of us as a team again! Of our four full days there, three of them were spent in the ocean swimming, sun bathing, and riding the waves. One day we explored Santa Marta’s gold museum and drank coffee in a Juan Valdez café before heading off to a beach near the small fishing town of Taganga.
Throughout all of these activities God gave me a wonderfully bittersweet revelation. Sweet because I realized that the other four girls on my team have become very dear to me, like family, but bitter because in almost exactly two months we will not only depart from Colombia, but part as a team. It has been awesome getting to know Amy, Karin, Melina, and Stephanie on a deeper level, sharing secrets, daily struggles, joys, and God moments. I can hardly imagine life without them after being so close to them for the last eight months! I suppose I saw how close we were becoming before but it only just hit me how much I’m going to miss them.
I also identified something about myself, a burgeoning dream that perhaps has always been there but that I am coming to realize more and more. Before joining RAD I had this mindset that someday I would be perfectly content with a white-picket-fence life: the cute house, steady job, a husband, family. Everything would fit into a compact little bubble. And yet now I see an expanded bubble, one bigger than the confines of what some would call the American Dream. There are places to go, great people to meet, old friends in faraway states and countries to visit. What would it be like to study abroad? To give a year or two or three after college to serve God’s people? To have a job that allows for travel? What would it be like to get to know so many people that every day my email inbox is filled with messages from a dozen different countries?
So where will I end up? As one of my newest Spanish phrases puts it: ¿Quien sabe? (Who knows?) Well, God knows, for it says in Psalm 139: 1-2 that he has searched us and knows us, knows when we sit and when we rise. He knows all about us, and as it says in vs. 9 and 10, “If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your [God’s] hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”
Bendiciones (blessings) and may God also help you to realize your small, insignificant, and hidden dreams.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
A Convention to Remember
Coming from a relatively typical teenage background, I never thought I would say that getting up early could be beneficial. Saturday mornings are for sleeping in, right? However, in the last month I have encountered not only the cons but also the pros of the verb that is madrugar in Spanish. This verb (which literally means “to get up early”) is a particular favorite here in Colombia, especially among Christians. For many it is a spiritual discipline to get up early (madrugar) and pray for a time before the day begins.
What this meant for me in the month of March was that I spent every Saturday morning starting at 6 AM at a local church rehearsing with the worship band for a convention that was held the last weekend in March. While it was not the Mennonite church we are attending, they asked Amy and I to play in order to have an integrated worship
band. I cannot express enough how much that early morning wake up humbled my attitude and taught me something about making a sacrifice for God. After weeks of practicing, the convention started on the 27th and brought pastors/speakers from all over the area. Saturday the 29th we met at the even earlier hour of 5 AM to pray as a team and spend time in reverence to God. That was an amazing morning, but what followed was an even more incredible two days.
The main speaker at the convention was a North American missionary woman in her late 60s named Susan. She has all the characteristics of your average grandmother: short graying hair, glasses, matching old lady outfits, a soft voice. When she gets up to the podium she retains her soft voice and lamb-like personality but oh man, her
words come with fire and it’s impossible not to be affected by them! She travels all over the world to speak and has brought thousands of people to Christ. I have a huge amount of respect for this woman and was really excited when I heard she was coming to speak.
The first thing she did when she got up front on Sunday morning was to announce that she had two prophecies that God had given her. One of them was for my very own teammate Amy! Amy went up front and Susan said she had seen an image of Jesus standing with Amy, and Amy was holding lots of nations in her hands. Jesus had his arms around her and they were going to each of these nations together. She said Amy would have lots of different paths/callings in her life but they would all bring her to preach the gospel in different parts of the world. And God would whisper in her ear the things she should say and she would speak them. That sounds like Amy to a tee, and the thing is that Susan knew none of Amy’s dreams to go to other countries. Truly an act of God!
Susan spoke that morning about what is called canto profetico, or prophetic singing. She said that God had been calling her to have this experience with us where we ask the spirit to move through us to sing, play, and speak in tongues, all spiritually inspired. I was a little nervous coming from my quite traditional church background, but Susan calmly explained that the piano was going to play the same note over and over again and Amy and I would be free to improvise on whatever notes/melody we pleased. As I was praying before we started I had my hand up, and since I wasn’t going to be able to speak in tongues while I played, I prayed that He would allow my fingers to “speak” in tongues instead. Suddenly my hand started shaking uncontrollably and wouldn’t stop, and when I went to play the movement translated directly into the movement I use to do vibrato on my violin. I just let myself go as I played, eyes closed, harmonizing with the piano. This melody came to me, a little ditty that I put the words “I love you I love you” to in my head. I was able to alternate with Spanish, since Te amo has the same amount of syllables. It was a totally relaxing experience, full of peace.
After we finished Susan came around giving us hugs. She started to speak to me, saying that she saw Jesus standing in front of me with a vessel of oil in his hands. That oil was symbolic of my violin music flowing through me and being used to heal many broken hearts. After a pause she said, “And that’s not all. I see you preaching the gospel with power.” At that point I lost it because the whole convention I had been feeling a little bit useless because when have I ever won a single soul for Christ? Her words were what I needed, an encouragement: you WILL preach the gospel. Later Susan was coming around for a second round of hugs, and she had more to tell me! She said that I will be like a double-edged sword that can break chains and heal. Wow again!
Here is an excerpt from my journal that I made the next day: “I need to sort it all out in my head but I want so much to LIVE this out, to make some changes and move forward in the faith. Changes like not being afraid to bring up God in conversation, being in true worship at church, doing a little more faithful feeling with my heart and less logistics with my head. Those kinds of things. Oh, and prayer. Lots of prayer.
What this meant for me in the month of March was that I spent every Saturday morning starting at 6 AM at a local church rehearsing with the worship band for a convention that was held the last weekend in March. While it was not the Mennonite church we are attending, they asked Amy and I to play in order to have an integrated worship
band. I cannot express enough how much that early morning wake up humbled my attitude and taught me something about making a sacrifice for God. After weeks of practicing, the convention started on the 27th and brought pastors/speakers from all over the area. Saturday the 29th we met at the even earlier hour of 5 AM to pray as a team and spend time in reverence to God. That was an amazing morning, but what followed was an even more incredible two days.
The main speaker at the convention was a North American missionary woman in her late 60s named Susan. She has all the characteristics of your average grandmother: short graying hair, glasses, matching old lady outfits, a soft voice. When she gets up to the podium she retains her soft voice and lamb-like personality but oh man, her
words come with fire and it’s impossible not to be affected by them! She travels all over the world to speak and has brought thousands of people to Christ. I have a huge amount of respect for this woman and was really excited when I heard she was coming to speak.
The first thing she did when she got up front on Sunday morning was to announce that she had two prophecies that God had given her. One of them was for my very own teammate Amy! Amy went up front and Susan said she had seen an image of Jesus standing with Amy, and Amy was holding lots of nations in her hands. Jesus had his arms around her and they were going to each of these nations together. She said Amy would have lots of different paths/callings in her life but they would all bring her to preach the gospel in different parts of the world. And God would whisper in her ear the things she should say and she would speak them. That sounds like Amy to a tee, and the thing is that Susan knew none of Amy’s dreams to go to other countries. Truly an act of God!
Susan spoke that morning about what is called canto profetico, or prophetic singing. She said that God had been calling her to have this experience with us where we ask the spirit to move through us to sing, play, and speak in tongues, all spiritually inspired. I was a little nervous coming from my quite traditional church background, but Susan calmly explained that the piano was going to play the same note over and over again and Amy and I would be free to improvise on whatever notes/melody we pleased. As I was praying before we started I had my hand up, and since I wasn’t going to be able to speak in tongues while I played, I prayed that He would allow my fingers to “speak” in tongues instead. Suddenly my hand started shaking uncontrollably and wouldn’t stop, and when I went to play the movement translated directly into the movement I use to do vibrato on my violin. I just let myself go as I played, eyes closed, harmonizing with the piano. This melody came to me, a little ditty that I put the words “I love you I love you” to in my head. I was able to alternate with Spanish, since Te amo has the same amount of syllables. It was a totally relaxing experience, full of peace.
After we finished Susan came around giving us hugs. She started to speak to me, saying that she saw Jesus standing in front of me with a vessel of oil in his hands. That oil was symbolic of my violin music flowing through me and being used to heal many broken hearts. After a pause she said, “And that’s not all. I see you preaching the gospel with power.” At that point I lost it because the whole convention I had been feeling a little bit useless because when have I ever won a single soul for Christ? Her words were what I needed, an encouragement: you WILL preach the gospel. Later Susan was coming around for a second round of hugs, and she had more to tell me! She said that I will be like a double-edged sword that can break chains and heal. Wow again!
Here is an excerpt from my journal that I made the next day: “I need to sort it all out in my head but I want so much to LIVE this out, to make some changes and move forward in the faith. Changes like not being afraid to bring up God in conversation, being in true worship at church, doing a little more faithful feeling with my heart and less logistics with my head. Those kinds of things. Oh, and prayer. Lots of prayer.
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